The European Union announced that an agreement had been reached to adopt English as the language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the deal, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short).
In the first year 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have less letters.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the state where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unnecessary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer, Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Phew! Typing this out has been tough for obvious reasons. I was searching for a certain embroidery book which has gone missing and found instead the above written out rather neatly in my hand on paper which is now yellowing. It's almost as if it happened yesterday...I remember I found this in a book and decided to copy it out as I thought it rather interesting. Besides, the book had to be returned. I don't even know what the heading means. And as I check it out on the net right away, I realise that I could've saved time spent typing by just copying & pasting. You can find just about anything on the net!!! I'm left wondering why I ever even bothered to write it down back then....but it sure did take me down memory lane to the year 2000 when my life was going through some tumultous times. It's funny how in retrospect, it doesn't feel so terrible anymore.
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